September 9 2014 Apple Live Event was not my favorite Apple event. I'll even say that it was the worst Apple event ever. I haven't rewatched the keynote (probably never will) and haven't read any reviews of the keynote. So here's my review.
- Tim Cook decided to hold the event in a different place from where they usually did in the past. This resulted in a terrible streaming quality where I completely missed what's so great about the new iPhones.
- Apple was trying to explain to developers that they should have
Localizable.strings (Chinese)file in their app by hiring a Chinese lady to speak non-stop louder than Phil Schiller.
- iPhone 6 is amazing. Freeze. Claps. Mute. Repeat.
- Tim Cook disappointed when nobody recognized the voice of Justin Timberlake.
- Something exciting about paying things with iPhone. In US only. Because other countries are secondary. Except China. China got the unstoppable live translation.
- PAY requires you to still pay for things you buy. Much innovation.
- Jony Ive had pimples problem that they removed him from his white room prison.
- Apple brought "One More Thing" back from the grave.
- Apple revealed a watch because that's what the society needs right now.
- iTime? iWatch? iPrefix is so last year that Apple chose Unicode Symbol as prefix from now on.
- Digital Crown on WATCH (ALL CAPITAL, PLEASE) because calling it Dial sounds so cheap.
- An ex-Adobe Bill Gates doppelgänger demoed WATCH where he hardly use the innovative Digital Crown and touch the screen most of the time instead. Tim will be pissed.
- Apple invented new way of communication without words via the WATCH. Because F__K words. Pre-historic way of communicating is the trend of the future.
- YOUTUBE ON STAGE! Oh, it's U2. Misheard thanks to poor quality streaming.
- Tim Cook and U2 slapstick was so bad that everyone wished the Chinese lady started talking again.
- FREE U2 ALBUM FOR EVERYONE! Not sure if you can delete it from your iTunes library though.
- That white structure? Yeah, nothing special about it.
- No Craig Federighi.
- Still no Macbook Air 11" Retina Display.
I think the Reality Distortion Field has worn off on me.